The Curious Case of the Invisible Museum

June 9 ‐ London : The Afternoon

Alternately Titled: Don’t You Ever Ever Ever Make Me Do That Again

Gin Rummy Score:  407 vs. 460
Cups of Tea: 5

After the Tower of London, we headed straight for the British Museum for the second time. Or so we thought … duhn duhn duuuuuuuhn

We promised Thom that we would see the Rosetta Stone every day we were in London. We’d thought it was housed in the National Gallery, right next door to our apartment, but it was in fact in the British Museum. So after a less than successful trip to see the stone yesterday, we were determined to see it today. We’d done the research online and we knew the Rosetta Stone would be in the Ancient Egypt exhibit.  Piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

Even though the museum is huge, right outside the underground station, and being marked by a huge gardens, the British Museum is impossible to find. You see, the British Museum sends out a field of confusion upon its surrounding area – much like fog. In my opinion this cloaking is a vestigial defense mechanism evolved over the centuries of being stepped on by tourists.
The field of confusion in part works by propagating about a dozen identical gardens exactly like the Russel Square Gardens that neighbors the British Museum (similar to the hundred faux eyes of peacock’s tail). However, the field of confusion also works through its abilities of mind control, which can cause travelers to the museum to look at a map, mark their spot on said map, point the direction to the British Museum, and still walk the wrong way. Said museum also appears to have the ability to remain invisible until right before closing time.

We finally found our way to the British Museum at 5:00. The museum closes at 5:30 … and by 5:30, I mean we got kicked out at 5:20.

We were finally inside the British Museum. We had 20 minutes to recover our wounded pride of yesterday by seeing the Rosetta Stone. But we were prepared this time – we’d looked up online, the Rosetta Stone was in the Ancient Egypt Exhibit. We’d also discovered that the museum houses one of my favorite paintings ever – The Great Wave.

We were determined to see this:

No maps or lists of notable works were available at the museum’s entrance or posted on any walls, but the sign for the Ancient Egypt Exhibit pointed at some stairs. We raced up three flights of stairs and into the Ancient Egypt Exhibit. The exhibit was a connecting catacombs of medium sized rooms winding around the floor … full of the most amazing specimens of mummies I have ever seen.

Original, actual mummies. The paint was pristine, even on the facial wrappings. There were glass cases of brightly painted sarcophagi stretching across this entire hall, and Zelda and I were racing back and forth frantically through these crowds of people searching for anything even resembling a big brown hunk of rock.

Zelda and I got separated in the throngs of people, so I sought out a security guard (sitting in the corner, texting) and asked where exactly the Rosetta Stone was — On the ground floor. In the other Ancient Egypt Exhibit. I would like to point out – this museum has three different ancient egypt exhibits, and they are all called Ancient Egypt Exhibit

After I finally got back down there, ran through the empty hall (this is the most ridiculously constructed museum, almost all of the ground floor is a huge round empty hall with their cafe in one corner, and if you want to get anywhere in the museum, you have to run though this humongous useless room), found the right tiny sign saying “Ancient Egypt”, saw the Rosetta Stone, took a picture, it was 5:20. And I still really wanted to see the Great Wave painting in the Japan Exhibit. (The same thing happened to Zelda, who desperately wanted to see their Ancient Rome and Greece exhibit). I ran out to the stairwell, and see this massive exodus of people pouring out of the building. (Noooooooo). I raced up the stairwell, only to be stopped by an insistant guard at the top, who made me turn right back around and leave.

When Zelda and I finally met up outside the museum, we were tired, frustrated, and in need of tea. Zelda had frantically, nearly in tears, asked to be taken to the Rosetta Stone, and after she finally saw it she felt she deserved a keychain.

Then we were back out into the field of confusion (again!). After some wandering in a circle (this time we couldn’t get away from the museum!) we stopped at a tea shop called Tea and Tattle – which I will admit, I insisted we visit because I loved the typography on the sign. We were a little worried that it would be a tourist trap because it was literally right next door to the British Museum, but it was actually completely lovely. I had ceylon tea and Zelda had jasmine tea, because, after all, jasmine tea is always good everywhere. And scones with clotted cream, and all of it was delicious. The cups were so precious, with floral designs and gold leaf on the trim.

And then…

TARDIS!

Zelda and I went to the Earl’s Court underground station (did I mention how much I love the subway in London?) and took pictures with the police call box there. I was seriously expecting Dr. Who fan stores and other tourists waiting around to take pictures, but instead it was just Londoners walking by looking at us like we were freaks, taking pictures next to the subway station and the side of the road.

We took touristy pictures

   

And ridiculous pictures

   

And also pictures where I am about to go off and save the world … as soon as I can get into this locked police call box…

Don’t judge. You know it’s awesome.

On the way home, Zelda also insisted that we get a picture of her with a traditional English phone booth.

After the TARDIS awesomeness, we went to the Sherlock Holmes Pub! Yes, that’s right – there was a Sherlock Holmes pub. And we went there. To be honest, I was mostly excited about the menu. Zelda got “Mary Sutherland’s vegetable pie” and I got “Dr. Watson’s Favorite”, which is also known as “bangers and mash” which is such a fantastically ridiculous name that I had to get some.

They also had Sherlock Holmes Ale. They actually make an ale called “Sherlock Holmes Ale”. And I drank some. At the Sherlock Holmes Pub.

And we played cards. For like 2.5 hours. And I won.

We also made friends with the dorky tourists at the table next to us. They asked us to take a picture of them. And then we asked them to take a picture of us. Classic tourist bonding.

We didn’t leave the pub until 11pm, at which point we had to walk all the way home, next door.

Cheerio!

-Ida